wad a week.. juz haf the sudden urge to blog. somehow i felt like i nid to get somethings off my chest. something is weighing mi down. but tt something is unknown to mi. i wonder wad izzit. tt something. tt unknown thing. is makin mi feel rather down inside. i dunno. i wonder wads happening.
i slept for more den half a day ytd.! yesh more den 12 hours.!!! omg.
if i look on the bright side, i cleared my slp debts. im feelin more hyper.
if i look on the the other side. i wasted almost a day.!!!! -.-"
oh wells. at least i did my hwk.
todae..
i spent a few hours reading the half blood prince. its addictive.!! hahas. haven done ani revision yet. gonna start studyin once im done wif this post. =))
i nid to get my mind off things.. but off wad things.?!?! im nt sure.
( u guys can dun read the following. )
as i lift up my head n look at the calender. i realised its 31st july 2005.! does it ring a bell to anione?!?! perhaps it onli ring a bell to mi. lookin at wad i wrote on the calendar somehow i feel wierd. an indescribable feelin. a feelin tt i dun even understand. i feel "heavy" inside. perhaps its the date. the date which meant alot to mi in the past. now?! im nt sure. im walkin out of tt shadow. walkin out of tt world tt brought mi so much sadness yet countless sweet n happie memories. unerasable memories.
somehow i wasnt angry bout wad ya commented bout the one year thing cos i knoe it was out of anger. but being able to say tt i knoe it was over. i was sure it was over. n i wun want to go back.
im fine. in fact i deleted one whole paragraph after i type it out cos i feel so much betta n felt tt it was quite duh.. its juz one of those days.! if u all were readin the above portion. thank you for readin my "complaints" i knoe its been freakin long le. y cant u juz appear n let mi skip this whole process.
beautifully loved`- at 5:46 p.m.
Saturday, July 30, 2005
Ohh I wanna let you know
That I'll always love you baby
Sometime I think about
Everything that we've been through
And I pray that you would just open your eyes
I love you
I need you
So please don't throw our love away
Since the day you and I snuck away to be alone
I knew from that night something special went on
It must have been the first kiss
You told me that no one else in the world made you feel this
I felt the same way too but nothing stays the same
I'm sorry for the tears I'm sorry for the pain
You were the one that always made things right
I promise you this though you got a friend for life
Maybe one day we can try it again
And maybe things can be a little different
So lets just kiss and say goodbye
Cuz I really cant stand the pain of seeing you cry
I've given everything I loved you endlessly
But when it comes to me
You don't even notice me
I've given everything
I loved you endlessly
But when it comes to me
You don't even notice me
All that's mine is yours that's what I said
Treat you with love and respect in everyway
You wanted I gave you need me I was there
Now you treat like if I'm not here
I love you and I need you don't wanna let go
If you want somebody else please let me know
Can't take it no more
I feel in dying inside
Is this the price I pay for handing you my life?
I know I'm not prefect but I truly cared
So when you wake up one morning and I'm not there
Just remember I loved you it will never be the same
Gave you everything and you threw it all away
I've given everything
I loved you endlessly
But when it comes to me
You don't even notice me
I've given everything
I loved you endlessly
But when it comes to me
You don't even notice me
x2
I gave you my good and my bad
My heart and my soul, My trust my money my time,
What more can you ask from a man
Even when times are hard I held out my arms and held you
Even excepted you through whatever weather
But now I feel it we're at the end of the rope
Whatever we had now I gotta let go
Nights like this I wish raindrops would fall
To cover my tears
Wishing I could replace all those wasted years
Of loving someone who couldn't love me back
And now again I gotta start from scratch
But I know I've given you my everything
I've given everything
I loved you endlessly
But when it comes to me
You don't even notice me
I've given everything
I loved you endlessly
But when it comes to me
You don't even notice me...
beautifully loved`- at 2:36 p.m.
HAPPY BDAE JESSIE.!!!
wad a tiring dae.
i felt like it wasnt even impt if i went. no one told mi whos gonna be dere. its like if i knoe things wld turn out this way. i might choose nt to go. BUT its nt a wasted trip cos shes my best fren. a sister to mi. i knoe the other him was dere. but we din even tok. i wonder if tt him felt tt same way. oh wells. okies. u all can ignore this. juz a feelin ya see.
went to mug after sch. and yesh we din go n makan agn. haahas. next week ba. after tt gt odac. was busy measurin n carrying the poles. played bball after tt.!! hahas. cool huh. i tink i scored 8 goals. lolx. tyco siaz. =)) aniwae i went to makan wif raymond. morris. si yuan n hong sum after tt. the usual gang. den went to mug agn. thanks for accompnyin mi.!!! =)) xie xie.
den off i went at bout 11 plus. and here i am back home at bout 1 plus in the morning. after going to jess hse. =))
im all drained n tired. im glad rock climbing is cancelled. woot.~!
thanks for ur listening ear. really. =D u knoe hu u r.
u change. alot. u make mi feel as if u r an ah beng. but i knoe u r the same old nice guy. oh wells. ur life. none of my business. perhaps i shld be glad tt things ended up this way.
i was worried when ya left so abruptly. but i guess after tt walk. im glad ya toked. =)) tc.
beautifully loved`- at 1:42 a.m.
Thursday, July 28, 2005
HAPPY BDAE YEELENG JIE.!!!!
oh. did i mention tt i actually saw my ex ex ytd at serangoon interchange.!? hahas. n he said hi to mi. miracles huh. l0lx. it muz be cos we immature the last tym. lolx. oh wells. somwhow he looks so much taller den before or izzit i shrunk?!?! gosh. nvmz.
school rawkz. tym pass rather fast todae. i enjoyed myself. i wonder y.
ehhs had pe todae.! it was fun. i enjoyed our modified games.! well done guys n gers.! as usual i ran 2 rounds after pe. hahas. den suddenly jin hao and 2 other odac senior ran on the track too. farnie siaz. aniwae my klass played floorball after pe. hahas. its the first time i felt tt we r united. real untied. everybody were luffin n enjoyin demselves. woot~!~! =)) and i enjoyed cheerin too. okies. shouting n screamin?!?! wadever u call it. l0lx. =)) i cant wait for the klass outing.!!! whee..
tml is the last dae of the week. sian.. exams r drawin nearer agn. everyone seems to be muggin.
someone plss motivate mi to study.!!! zzzz. -.-""
okies. gona haf odac tmr. hahas. im cutting wood wif sam n morris. i tink.! woot.! cant wait. but its a tough decision to decide between gg for odac early n gg makan wif my frens. firstly. odac informed mi too late. kinda last min. n i made my plans le. secondly mi n my frens were suppose to go eat todae. but i changed it to tmr. cant expect mi to postpone it agn rite. -dilemma- i wan a win win situation.!! =x
gona go do hwk le. ciaoz.~ pple please tag.!! hahas. cyaz.! 05s225 rox.!!!!! =)))
ai ting.~ smile n cheer up.!! i love ya.!! ya knoe i do.!! hahas. =)) u alwaes haf mi n ur other frens. so y bother bout tt !@% cyaz.!! BIG BIG HUGGIES.!! anithing gif mi a call.
shuyi~ u this coconut.! gt lots to update mi huh. hahas. catch up wif ya real soon. take care.!! dun get too stress up n rest well. i love ya too.!!
jolyn~ thanks for ur accompany mi hme.! cya tmr.!! n im still waiting for the date tt u owe mi.! ask mi out man.! hahas. im rotting.!
my incomplete life.
beautifully loved`- at 8:43 p.m.
Wednesday, July 27, 2005
n im still tired. gona blog den zzzz le. hahahs.
had some s cube seminar todae. oh wells. i onli like the skit.! n the startin of the skit ONLY.! was listenin to my zen n tokin n tryin to open this nut the whole tym!! lolx. i was entertaining myself. i was SO TEMPTED to PON.! if nt for odac i wld haf skip the whole thing.
at first when i reach sch i was tired. lessons started i gt all hype up. energetic n stuff.. by afternoon my battery died down.! i was listening to zen n startin to feel alittle grouchy. sorrie frens.!! sorrie if ya had to tolerate my nonsense. sorrie.!! n out of the blue i started feelin hyper agn. BUT i was dead by the tym i reach hme.
was stonin thru pw lecture. as usual. its boring. still gonna go find tang tmr to tell him obut the modified games. oh wells.
aniwae IM GG SCUBA DIVING.!! anione feelin EXCITED FOR ME?? hahas. a day after my bdae!! whee i cant wait lar!! hahas. i love the ocean. wheee... relax.... ODAC RAWKZ! okies. den gt night bking. mobile camp. rock climbing. n lots. the onli thing tt i dun like is swimmin PT. -.-"" hahas. gonna malu myself la. =x
okies. i feel like im "sellin" my blog todae. hahas. cos i gaf 3 pple my add in a day. hahas. =x
oh yeahs.! had foto takin todae too.!!! lolz. i winder how the foto turn out to be. n yesh we MANAGE to SKIP CHINESE LESSON cos of tt. whee.....!
BTW CAN SOMEONE TELL MI THE SONG TITLE OF THE FOLLOWIN LYRICS..
LIFES JUST A DREAM THAT WE CHASE AFTER.!
juz tag if ya knoe the title kaes. thanks.! big hugs.!! nites.!~! =))
beautifully loved`- at 10:44 p.m.
Tuesday, July 26, 2005
GPP EOM both r killin mi. tutorial undone too. cant wait for this week to be over. at least deres no more test le. phew~
this gona be a short entry cos im tired le *yawn*
this week is so eventful.!! im wonderin wads gona happen tmr. and the day after. and the day after the next.!! and.. and.. all the way till sundae.!
ytd. main com printer crash. and u was suppose to print like 30 articles.?!?! luckily gt jhon n anson to help mi. b4 tt i printed 7 le. so yeahs. this morning was even betta.!!
dad : *shakes mi* water pipe burst.! NO WATER.!!
mi : *jump out of the bed* wad the.!?!??! -.-"
how nice of him to start my dae like this. he din even sae morning or anithing like la. horrible.! n poor mi haf to bathe under the cold water tt the pub brought to my hse.! my family onli had 2 water bags n 1 pail of water. i felt like i was living in world war 2 where pple had to save water n use as little as possible. The weather din help mi too.! it was raining.!! so yeps. i was kinda like freezing when i was bathin. felt so cold the entire morning.!!
tap no water. toilet also cannot flush. shower also no water. now i knoe how precious water is!! so dun waste it.!!!
i guess bad things neber happen alone huh. it alwaes haf a company. chem test quite screwed too so yeahs. tats bad.! but im sure dere r a few things tt happen todae.! =)) first my main com printer is repaired n finally gt to eat my gelato wif jolyn dear. hahas.!
time to slp. more tmr.! ciaoz~
beautifully loved`- at 11:33 p.m.
Monday, July 25, 2005
HAPPY BDAE JOLYN.!!
HAPPY BDAE DADDY.!!
done wif maths test. left wif chem. did GP essay todae. something tt i dread doing.!! -.- oh wells. i NEVER like doin essay. n now, deres GPP to do. total madness.
pls dun tell mi im the onli one feelin the stress. i can feel tt its buildin. slowly. gradually, overwhelmin mi. =/
celebrated jolyn dear bdae in sch.! woot.~! hahas. =PpP had a nice tym. did some catchin up todae too.! yeps. im happie. glad~ =D
mom. bought dad a bdae cake. second cake for the dae le.! 4th cake in less den a week.! oh yah! i ran 2 rounds round the track too. but i ate hip hop jelly after tt. so i guess.. its makes no difference huh. -sigh-
okies. gtg bathe le.!! den study chem n do GPP. no life.
jolyn! hahas. happie bdae to ya.! hope ya read this entry.! hehes. lao le yo shui le. lolx. aniwae may all ur dreams n wishes come true. take lots of care. n all the bez in findin ur mr right. =)) ya get wad i mean huh. lolx. tats all. BIG HUGS.! love ya.!! catch up wif ya another dae. lets chill out another dae ya.! i still remember u owwee mi stth.!! hahas =PpP
beautifully loved`- at 6:32 p.m.
Sunday, July 24, 2005
You'll Find Love Where You Least Expect ItYou're the type most likely to find love... surprised?You shouldn't be! You're a fun, independent woman who is always out and about.And you're smart to sometimes leave your girlfriends behind and go it alone.Men love to approach you when you're out by yourself - including Mr. Perfect!Where Will You Find Love? Take This Quiz :-) Find the Love of Your Life (and More Love Quizzes) at Your New Romance. |  |
beautifully loved`- at 1:42 p.m.
HAPPY BDAE AH MA!!
HAPPY BDAE KENT KOR!!!
HAPPY BDAE RACHEL.!
met jolyn to take back my notes den went down to chinatown after tt. went to celebrate ah ma's bdae.!! hehes. gt to see all my cuzzie n once agn. dey help mi to do survey.! hahas. =))
todae is kent kors bdae.!! hahas. our bu xun chang de guan xi.!! lolx. kidding.!! hes one nice person u can alwaes tok to. hahas. no wonder gt gers jioing him. lolx.
okies. i had so much fun ytd. n its time to mug agn. boring life.!! -.- sianz. i miss my sec sch life. i totally dislike PW. i duuno y. tinkin of the EOM juz spoil my dae. it seems like im draggin my feet to sch. dreading this n that. gg to sch seems like a daily chore. i onli like it went i get to meet up wif my darlins n do some catching up. which is quite RARE. hahas. i like it when i knoe i can hang out wif my frens after sch. all these makes mi await for the end of the dae.
oh wells. lifes like tt. cousin told mi tt 2 years will fly by v. fast. n i hope it rrly do. =D if nt gif mi a reason to go to sch. perhaps something or someone worth waiting. hahas. nonsense. anithing tt can motivate mi.
it was my second tym to chinatown ytd. first was wif him. surprisingly. the exit i gt out ytd was the exit tt we were at 1 year ago. the place seems so familiar yet strange. y cant i get on life w/o havin all these flashbacks. sick-``
gonna study now le.! muggin tym.!
swt~ i do read ur blog.! hahas. n ur blog title is the lyrics of the song title tt im finding.! hahas. so wads the title? lolx. take care ger.! =)) hehes.
beautifully loved`- at 1:00 p.m.
Friday, July 22, 2005
HAPPY BDAE CHEE HUAT.!!
its bout 12am le. n i juz reach hme nt long ago.
as usual i had ODAC. den head dwn to glasshse to celebrate rachie bdae. hehes. its gd to see all of dem agn. =))
ate fish n co for dinner. took lots of pics too. gt dem to do survey for mi. thanks gers n their bf. hahas. BIG THANK YOU.!
shared seafood platter for two wif swt n jess. hahas. threesome of the nite. after dinner we went separate ways. the couples went out to chill while mi swt n jess go hme. gosh im tired. im quiet. dere are some tots in my mind.
full moon.. i recalled wad ya sae. this sucks big time. i hate remembering stuff. somehow those moments flashback into my mind once more n i dun like it.! rrly.
walkin tt path hme todae was different. sigh. those days. i bet todae muz be one of those emotional daes. oh wells. im tired. im drained. still gona leave some energy for the hectic tmr n day after.
ciaoz! time to bathe. i rrly rrly stink.!
beautifully loved`- at 11:52 p.m.
Thursday, July 21, 2005
i wonder whats my limits. do i haf to "explode" everyday?! perhaps its juz our character.
aniwae chem mock SPA was okies. n im happie todae. hahas. due to some reasons. i guess ur pt of view of mi matters to me. but.. phew~ u din sae anithing. lolx.
gonna meet my gerfrens tml.! woot! i cant wait. hehes. gonna go all the way from pasir ris to glasshouse tmr. kinda far huh. but oh wells. hehes. =))
see im happie. when i recall i juz smile. =P
is this for real.?
beautifully loved`- at 8:03 p.m.
Wednesday, July 20, 2005
oh wells. i dunno wad happen durin confrontation other den my klass guys kept quiet n *he* kept toking. frm his expression i bet he xploded too. i juz dun like his attitude. i dun care if hes nice to the gers. but this aint the way to treat ur fellow schoolmate when *he speaks nicely to *he*.! really. at least set *he* tone rite.! u knoe how offensive it seems. zzz.
i haf to admit tt it takes both hands to clap. but still... if we arent gonna tell *he* tt *he* shld change *he* attitude. who wld?! wad wld happen to *he* if *he* go out to the society wif this attitude of *he*?!
-sigh- i was taught to accept pple for who dey r but at this instance everything seems contradicting.. its like i wan him to change his attitude. change for the betta. but wad if tt was the real him?! am i suppose to close one eye n juz tolerate his attitude. im confused.
learnt first aid agn todae. realised i nid to go back sch n chop wood wif the guys. hahas. farnie shit. oh wells. everything went on well todae. thank goodness i din get the meet the parents form. -.- gonna mug le.
aiting~ dear. sorry ah. blurted the word at u todae. yeps. i guess he was ur fren tats y we kinda side different sides. hahas. our thinkin n the way we handle stuff are never similar right from the start. its like we r poles apart. but i guess unlike poles attract huh. but one thing is for sure. it takes 2 hands to clap. but still. if ya tink bout it. *he* still shld nt haf show his attitude. wad wrong did he* do?! nth i wld sae. other den we kinda blow things up. enuff of tt le. if nt im bound to haf a heated arguement wif ya someday. things will cool down... different pple settle things differently. some choose to swallow all the unhappiness while others juz show it. i guess im the one who show it unless the person who make mi mad is someone i rrly care n love. den i wld choose to swallow the unhappiness. cyaz.~
beautifully loved`- at 6:27 p.m.
Tuesday, July 19, 2005
okies. i shld calm down. zzzzz... but still.!!!!! ahhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!
beautifully loved`- at 7:04 p.m.
felt like slpin the whole dae todae.! had a total of 5 physics lessons! madness.!! zzzz. had physics SPA todae too. had a "heart attack". horrible. -.-" oh wells. nth much happen todae.
who sae tt gers are a hassle?!? we do help kaes. n we alwaes come in "handy". i will bite their hand off if dey take mi as a hostage hoh.!! lolx. kididng.
my klass gonna haf a confrontation tml. its between this guy n another. okies. supposedly one on one. okies. dey r nt gonna fight. dey r mature le. i suppose dey r gona tok things out. okies. im partly involve too. zz. hu ask tt guy so xl la.! n he attitude mi n tt guy can. okies. its nt wad we argue over tt matters. its the way he !#!$@ la. sickening. and im nt suppose to be glad cos tt guy is gonna like settle it. greats. this is gettin confusin.!
a certain tot came into my mind. if u face a problem. dun solve it by avoiding it. cos the problem will still be dere. instead. find a suitable solution. a solution tt will solve the problem once n for all.!
woot~ my bro juz gt his soccer boots n socks n he is wearing it in the hse now.! hahas. so proud of him.!! THE NEXT SG STRIKER.!! hehes. =PpP
i prefer one tt takes the intiative to tok to mi. so cont doin tt. n perhaps u shld learn. hahas. cont makin tt miracle happen. stop acting cool. when i told the rest tt thing. dey responded. other den u. slap la.! hahas.
beautifully loved`- at 6:06 p.m.
Monday, July 18, 2005
met swt n jess after tt. went down to bishan to study cos i needed to buy MUJI pencil case n i was craving for sushi. hahas.
went to secret recipe to study alittle. met dan n jody dere. dey are still workin dere. but dan goona be transferred to another outlet le. =( okies. hahas. had a free jacket.! goodness knoe y. but i wore a cap in SR. lolx. when we reached jody told us tt foo and jf juz left nt long ago. so yeps. we called our darlin elephant. n she came to meet us. hahas. had gers tok. lolx.
now u all knoe roughly wad happen le rite. oh wells.
met shuyi this morn too. wad a fruitful day. okies. gonna go bathe n study physics practical.! ciaoz~!
oh yah did i mention tt yc sis gonna help us buy naruto vol 2 and vol3.? this rawkz.! hahas. whee. addiction! =))
beautifully loved`- at 8:12 p.m.
Sunday, July 17, 2005
gonna start everything all over again.
starting my life frm scratch.
though i might feel tired halfway thru. i knoe my gerfrens will be dere.
am i right?!
neber wanted things to turn out this way. but i guess this is the best way out for the both of us. no communiaction. i hate to say this. but i felt hurt when ya commented bout the 1 yr plus. i guess we both exploded tt dae. i know tt i was at fault. i started it. but i rather things remain this way. byez... e r a s i n g....
beautifully loved`- at 8:58 p.m.
