Tuesday, December 20, 2005
wells the 4th tym im ranting todae. i broke my record like woahhhh!!! wells. forget it. i tink heres the best place to "tok" to u. n heres the best place to get every single thing off me.
reply to ur long entry.
wells. i did read it. its nt tt i did nt consider ur feelings at all. its nt true. wells. sometimes u arent receiving the "msg" i want it to be. wells. it alwaes take 2 hands to clap. yesh im nt happie. yesh i knoe tt u tried makin mi happie. thanks. and i knoe tt mi rejectin ur offer to go out makes u feel lousy. but i aint tt happie either.! sheesh. sorry i messed up ur life.! sorry i make u feel like crap.! sorry that i appear n complicate ur life.! sorry i screwed it up! sorry its nt smooth sailing cos juz a small alil me. sorry. sorry if things arent gg ur way. its nt tt i dun wanna meet u and stuff. its nt tt i dun wan to watch the show wif you. nonononono. its juz tt wld u want to go out wif sumone whom wun be exactly herself n u will get upset urself. so haf i ever considered ur feelings. haf u tot hw i felt when i feel tt he is like showin mi concern den u did. haf u tot bout the struggles i haf in me. tryin to stop all the msges and yet nt hurt every single body at the same time. cos i had enuff. all the comparisons i had to go thru but nt wantin to let ya knoe cos i knoe sumhow its gonna make u feel lousy. somethings i kept frm u cos i din wan u to feel bad. tols ya somethings cos i din wan u to feel lousy if u knoe it gradually. in me it feels bad. and i dun like kipin stuff frm u. i dunno. im nt sure how mani more pple i haf to hurt. i knoe its hurting freaking bad for everyone. i wldnt sae its ur fault for all these to happen. if this is where we are stoppin. if this is when u will be lettin go. let mi knoe. can u tell mi wad wld be the best thing i can do so tt i wun hurt tt much for u?
all i ask is for mi to be alone for some time. is tt too much to ask for or too long for ya to wait. wadeva.
freak. i hate bgr. cos tt wld be the onli tym i feel like breakin dwn. freak. i shld nvr haf gave in. wadeva. din expect myself to feel this way. ahh wadeva. wad a life.
thanks for being dere even u aint sure wads happenin. u haf alwaes been my gd listening ear. i appreciate tt. thanks for all the concern.
guide me the way. gif mi the strength to forget all my troubles n settle down to work.
awy frm the internet for awhile. will find my another way of ranting.
yesh. imfeelindown. gonnagohaffunwiftheblackbox.
beautifully loved`- at 10:16 p.m.
